Our journey started in 2019 before that C word even existed. We started with the Rotunda IVF clinic which later became SIMS and moved out to Swords. From our first consultation we thought everything was going to run smoothly and happen quite quick. Oh were we so wrong!!

After a lot of tests we found out that our initial plan to do IUI wasn't going to work and that IVF was our best option. Then Covid hit and the clinics closed so everything was put on hold. So we, like everyone else, just rode the wave that was lockdown and isolation . The clinics opened back up towards the end of 2020 but this time our consultations were on Zoom and for anything that needed to be done in the clinic I had to attend alone, as Tammy wasn't allowed to come with me.

After numerous tests we were finally ready to start our first round for egg collection at the start of 2021, a lot of injections and a lot of hormones. We did everything by the book but my follicles were not playing ball and our very first round was cancelled. It felt like an absolute kick in the stomach.

We decided to take a break from all the meds and enjoy the summer of 2021. We started again that September and this time was a success. We got 21 eggs in total. 12 made it to day 3 and by day 5 we had 11 embroys (babies on ice) we were over the moon. It was just my luck to then go and get Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome (OHSS), so a fresh transfer was out of the question. And so began another waiting game.

Our first frozen embryo transfer was in November of 2021 and we were a ball of emotions. After the transfer there is a two week wait to find out if it has worked, unfortunately our first transfer never stuck and we weren't pregnant. To sit in the clinic and be told that by yourself while wearing a mask and keeping 2 meters apart from the nurse was something nobody should go through.

January 2022 they made a change to my meds and we had our second transfer. This time it worked but something wasn’t quite right. My HCG (pregnancy hormone) was rising but not as it should have been, it was too early to see anything by internal scan in SIMS and as they continued to rise we were sent to the EPU in the Rotunda. There we were faced with what felt like a life time of tests. Every 48 hours for 2 weeks, I had to go in for bloods and scans. On the 1st of March 2022 I started to bleed. The Hospital wanted to admit me as they thought the embryo may have split and one was inside and one outside. I ended up talking my way out of getting admitted as I was in the EPU 2 days later anyway. All this time Tammy was outside in the car. On March 4th 2022 it was confirmed that I had miscarried our little nugget . We were both exhausted mentally and physically. We decided to take time off trying to look after each other and just process everything that had happened.

In October 2022 we started round 3 and this time we took a different approach and I had 3 intra lipid infusions along with different meds. The 25th of October we got the call we only ever dreamed of. We were pregnant and the hormone in the bloods were high enough that they didn't have to be repeated. The wait was on then for 4 weeks to find out if it was a viable pregnancy. On the 17th November 2022 we saw a little flicker of a heart beat on the monitor. It was a surreal moment and one that we only dreamed of. Third time lucky!

As we did IVF here in Ireland, we were both able to be on Theo's birth cert from the time he was born. It means the absolute world to us to know that we are both legally recognised as his parents. Had we gone down another route and Tammy was not legally recognised, this would be heart breaking for us both. I would be devastated to think that his other parent would have no legal rights over our son even though she should have the exact same rights as me.

The system here in Ireland is so far behind it drives me mad! Changes need to be made so that all families are equal.